Thoughts Derailed

I screwed up

2008-07-12T17:44:00.002-07:00

Nothing big, but not small either. Just some stuff, but some stuff that makes a difference, some stuff that adds up.
Frustration
Frustration and disappointment.
with myself
2 weeks
about two weeks of frustration
i did it to myself
It's amazing the difference it makes, the difference GOD makes.
I was growing. I was seeing him. I was loving.
I left the trail, jumped headfirst into the thorns by the wayside.
Why?
I wanted to
Why?
sounds stupid really
it is stupid
I (fully aware of the sin, and of its consequences) left the path which felt so right to wander blindly through the same thorny thicket I've seen a thousand times.
I've been resolutely ignoring the signs pointing back to the Way. It's been long enough.
It's tough to get back to the Way. It starts slow. The choice to read, to listen to God when I just don't feel like listening. But I'm coming back, and GOD of course is there to pull me up.
It's obvious really.
Life sucks without GOD.
maybe i'll remember that this time

we are not, but for those to whom we are

2008-04-24T00:45:00.001-07:00

this is the pointless and useless stuff i started rambling about when i didn't know how to start my communication paper enjoy:

Communication is the means by which empires are built, the mortar which holds together the great bastions of society. It is the very foundation upon which nations are built and the defining element of humanity. We are not, but for those to whom we are. But for the links that bind us together, we are but flecks of matter spinning amongst the twirling sand devil of the cosmos. Communication forms those links. It is the heart that loves but what is the heart but that which loves and what is love but the bond formed by hearts that commune.

yeah...

2008-04-17T21:49:00.005-07:00

this a thought that's gone off track
and won't come back
it's wandered far
to find a bar
lost where it was going
my stupidity is showing
i just forget
where blocks were set
to start it's race
it fell off pace
or maybe i
was by the by
the one behind
mind now blind
i'm lost in fog
my tipsy jog
a mental search
for solid perch
to rest my thoughts
upon their cots
my thought's been lost
but at what cost?

"We're reporting live from the massive derailing of Thought 005 en rout to the main planning and quality control station. Workers are sifting through the charred debris trying to salvage anything useful from this catastrophic wreck"

*note* Don't expect everything I write to make sense.

a glimpse through the window

2008-04-17T13:59:00.005-07:00

read counterclockwise from noon, outside first

Gaze in here

Will do me no harm..................And seek to find

To show outward grace..................................The glint of cheer

Shows public charm...................here is the source...........the thoughts of mind

This sheltering face...........................of all joy and of all fear.......................keen you must be

But depth, you lack..........................but God alone knows.....................if through this vent

You know my name.................the secrets kept here..........you are able to see

that smiles back.................................................thought and intent

This is the frame..........................throughout the chat

To find if I am weak.....a clue you seek

my gaze you look at

The Pit

2008-04-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

Blinking eyes that strain to see
The beauty that surrounds me,
Pulled from darkness into light,
Crawling from the pit in fright,
My hand it slips.
I've lost my grip.
Slip back toward the dark below.
Fear again begins to grow.
Reach for hope and hand of friend,
Lest i meet a bitter end.
Catch myself, again reach upward.
Someone help me to move forward.
The rocks are slick.
In filth, feet stick.
Pray my grip holds.
Chide myself "be bold".
Slipping more, to my chagrin.
Don't let me fall down there again.

Worlds

2008-04-03T14:33:00.000-07:00

There are more worlds than I can see,
a billion worlds invisible to me.
These worlds are moving through my own.
I catch small glimpses that are shown.
Through smiles and tears,
I see beauty and fears
of worlds separate from mine.
Through your eyes, your stars shine.
Through your voice, I hear dimly
melodies sung by birds on a chimney.
Your world must be different by far
and yet so similar.
The trees and the sky,
through which the birds fly,
are exactly the same
(yet only by name).
I wish that I could see your world.
I thirst to see your skies unfurled,
to see your hopes and dreams
bursting through the seams
of the constructed outer mold
built specifically to hold
your world within where it might not
disturb the worlds of those who've got
no patience for your "fantasies"
or time to listen to your "fallacies."
I pray some day that we might dare
to open up and our worlds share.

a thought

2008-04-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

I had a thought,
a thought named spot,
spot, the very happy thought
and spot, he thought to meet the thoughts,
the other thoughts.
spot thought the thoughts would welcome spot,
thought they would talk and then the thoughts
would think with spot,
to make an even better thought.
the thoughts saw spot,
and spot they shot.
the guilty thoughts could not be caught,
for they are the policing thoughts,
the power thoughts,
the ruler thoughts.
spot would have fought,
the power of the ruler thoughts.
so now there is no thought named spot.
he's been silenced by the thought I bought.